The suexec binary isn't installed because you didn't select the option when you installed the port. So no amount of tinkering with httpd.conf will fix that.
Deinstall the apache port(s), and reinstall them with suexec enabled (Using make config or -DWITH_SUEXEC as mentioned above).
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UNIX was not designed to stop you from doing stupid things, because that would also stop you from doing clever things.
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