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When monitoring mbufs (netstat -m), is there something specific I should look for, or just usage over time?
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Take a look at the netstat output. You will see significant details of mbuf use - including types of usage and a list of mbufs consumed by size, and counts of requests cancelled or deferred.
But you will also see an output line showing a percentage in use. I recommend a cron job that parses that line for the percentage, and notifies you if it exceeds some threshold you set -- for example, choose a threshold of 50% or 75%.
While writing that cron job, you might also want to look at consumption of PF states in that remote router-- the default is 10,000, and while a small office firewall should not exceed that, perhaps there is a problem causing excess state table consumption. See the pfctl(8) man page, and option -s info.