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which BSD distro is very close to linux
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NetBSD has Linux COMPAT enabled by default.
What processes?
None of BSDs automatically updates.
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easy installations of programs (to have packages)
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All BSDs have binary packages.
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Easy installation of flash and java plugins
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I have Flash installed on FreeBSD and it works very well, its not hard, building a Java plugin for a browser is also possible and working, as I use FreeBSD, I havent tried other BSDs for that.
DesktopBSD is dead, use PC-BSD.