How did you start X? Did you configure XDM for a graphical logon? See
http://netbsd.org/docs/guide/en/chap-x.html#chap-x-xdm
Considering the issues you are having and assuming this is a new install you could try a reinstall and do a standard text-only logon for easier sorting out this the problem with X.
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You don't need to be a genius to debug a pf.conf firewall ruleset, you just need the guts to run tcpdump
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