Hi there,
people usually post for technical assistance, hence the nature of the replies you got.
I will attempt a more holistic answer
Are you sure what you want can be achieved in a single OS or single box (given that we are not programmers with loads of time on our hands)?
As a sysadmin, I use OpenBSD for its exceptional security, stability and quality control (I use it for servers, firewalls and my workstations). For family & friends I have to use PC-BSD because I don't have the time to make a consumer-friendly environment out of OpenBSD.
If I need the latest apps, gizmo, hardware or features, I find myself using Windows (client servers and desktop). But as you know, Windows security is an illusion (check f-secure's frontpage...), and stability & quality is compromised by the rapid pace of development and diversity of 3rd party apps.
I think the combination you want can only be achieved by spending loads of time on compiling your own distribution
It is a well known trade-of for design engineers and programmers that out of the triangle of quality, features & time-to-market, you can only have 2 at the same time
Maybe there is a linux distro out there that fits your needs (Debian is most closely aligned to OpenBSD's ethos of quality control and security), but I won't spend time on Linux as I see it as being as much of a convoluted mess as windows is and it will be the next target for the malware industry (26,500 unique windows virus signatures
per hour in November 2008...)