Found via Google, after a particularly trying lunch:
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To eat or not to eat- that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of tormenting hunger
Or to take forks against platyters full of food,
And by eating empty them. To taste- to eat-
No more; and by eating to say we give away with
The bellyache, the twisting guts and the shrinking stomach
That hunger inflicts on us. 'Tis a fulfillment
Faithfully to be desired. To tase- to eat.
To eat - perchance to bloat: ay, there's the hitch!
For in that meal of doom what waistlines may come
When we have looked in the mirror,
Shall frighten us. There's the inches
That make a disgrace of so good a meal.
For who would bear the giggles andjokes of peers,
The fat man's compassion, the slim man's arrogance,
The stares of passing strangers, the childrens' mocking,
The insolent grin of the scale, and the several attempts
That putting on one's largest pants takes,
When he himself hardlyn his weight eliminates
With dieting and daily exercise? Who would so much indignity bear,
For the temporary pleasure of a meal,
But that the dread of something after lunch-
The awful bloating, from whose grip
Only the strongest break free- torments the will,
And makes us rather suffer the craving
Than ills we do not yet experience?
Thus that small voice within does make philosophers of us all,
And thus the regular hungry fellow
Is submerged with thoughts about his nutritional habits,
And initiatives of great courage and endurance
Are born in an anxious brain
And take the place of a scrumptious chocolate dessert.
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