I figured out the previous one. for some reason I had to make ike active on both sides before i was able to peer both lans. Not sure why that solved, it but you probably know better.
Yet to try out the fqdn connection but should do that this weekend so no update on that yet.
Yes I kind of like the "constantly evolving use of IPSec on OpenBSD" ...... its fun isnt it, and I am learning a lot from it. And thanks to you i dont get stuck for too long (whenever I do)
I think this line is all I needed. (Hopefully)
Code:
ike passive esp from any to <nic> psk <string>
The "any" keyword is what i actually needed to confirm.