for what I remember Xfce has its own terminal that is called ... "terminal"
that has many features like the gnome one.
if you want to stay with xterm you can look at "man xterm" where you can find many options to configure the look-and-feel (these options are saved in a file ".Xdefaults" under your home)... or you can look at some examples like vermaden's .Xdefaults and change some values, you can find it here:
http://dotfiles.org/~vermaden/.Xdefaults
to copy it should be sufficient to select a text with the mouse and click with the central button of the mouse on the area where you want to paste the selection...