Is there some reason you are specifying the sdl audio output device? Seems mplayer wasn't built with that support. Check the output of "mplayer -ao help" and specify one of the other supported output devices.
The fact that you don't have Xv enabled in X is going to be an issue for video playback. mplayer is falling back to the x11 video output device, which requires more work from your processor. The x11 device also doesn't support scaling unless you use the -zoom option, which is why the video size stays the same, even when the window size changes. You can use the -zoom option, but that will increase the CPU usage even more.
What video card do you have?
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