I did manage to get this going using Dovecot2 and Postfix using SSL (993) to connect and TLS (587) to send when I am outside my network.
I used the following tutorials as a reference.
https://www.vultr.com/docs/simple-ma...eve-freebsd-10
this is base on Dovecot only
and
https://blog.iandreev.com/?p=1604
The second one uses virtual users which I tried but didn't like, my goal was to have it as simple as possible using system accounts. The accounts that didn't need shell access have
/usr/sbin/nologin but only use exclusively email.
If anyone is interested, I may write a howto (sorry for the Linux reference) but it is really easy once you get used to the FreeBSD way..