[Carpetsmoker]

If I ssh to the host by name, It will hang. Am I missing a command?
If I ssh to host by IP, it will be refused.

Try to set up a simple ssh connection without X first: See if that works. Then move on to X. Set up one thing at a time: Start as simple as possible and add more complexity with steps.

Hint:
You can use the -v switch to display information about what SSH is doing, for example:
# ssh -v carpetsmoker@192.168.1.1

From ssh(1):

     -v      Verbose mode.  Causes ssh to print debugging messages about its
	     progress.	This is helpful in debugging connection, authentica-
	     tion, and configuration problems.	Multiple -v options increase
	     the verbosity.  The maximum is 3.